The husband wanted to sell off the single bedroom flat they acquired in the very distant suburbs; the wife felt that would dent the assets they held. The wife was keen to financially support her parents and siblings; the husband felt that others must live within their own means. The husband wanted to retire early and imagined a simpler life with what they had; the wife wanted to work longer in the fear that what they had was not enough. We routinely come across partners with different goals, aspirations, risk preferences, spending and investing habits. How does the household finance get managed then?
There was a time when women who went to work simply handed their salaries over to their husbands or in-laws. They submitted themselves to the rules of the household even if they resented it. This system broke down as many rightly protested that it was unfair. Then partners pooled their resources and took joint decisions, with various levels of agreement on issues, considering that approach to be argumentative but practical. We now have his money, her money and our money as a rule in many households, but the small subset of pooled decisions still remains tough to make. Partners have now begun to take on board the individual preferences about money, spending, giving and investing. But there remain several areas of concern about household finance that require partners to set aside their differences and work together as a team. Through years of plodding through, many have shared their stories and I intend summarising a few learnings from these conversations into a simple framework.
The entrepreneurial bug bit one of these men. He suffered a lot of stress at work and found his bosses to be unreasonably demanding His wife felt that he was not pushing back enough and standing up for himself, but the husband continued to complain and resent and not make changes. He then hit upon the idea of beginning his own business. The wife did not think that was a good idea but held her job and offered financial stability to the household. After six long years of blood and sweat, and a much strained marital relationship, the business is yet to make money. Not all entrepreneurial ideas end like this. But major decisions that disrupt the family’s income stability need unanimous consent. It might help to keep a timeline in mind, and agree to review the decision and go back to the job market if things do not work out. While making a decision that does not meet the approval of the partner, set some rules for review before moving ahead.
Another couple faced an unexpected layoff, when the husband lost his job in his early 50s. He was the only earning member of the family. Though he had long persuaded his wife to pursue some employment or business, she did not show interest in all the years he was working. Now that he faces the prospect of prolonged unemployment, they are in distress. The wife resents making lifestyle changes or disclosing to friends and family that he has lost his job. The husband leans on his siblings and savings and is unsure how long it will all last. It makes little sense to carry forward the frameworks of the past into the future. When the largest employer was the government, the model of a single income household worked well given job security. Now that the economy is dominated by the private sector, layoffs and retrenchment have become commonplace. Unless the single income that supports the family is insanely large and there is a backup of assets, depending on one income alone is risky….Read More
Source By: economictimes
